The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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