That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize