fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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