I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
