this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Randomize
