yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
