Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
me + whiskey = a bad person
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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