I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
