Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
