forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
