Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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