sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
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Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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