He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
