that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
