I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Randomize
