ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
