She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
