I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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