she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
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Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
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Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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