This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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