Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
