is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
