I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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