He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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