Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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