the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize