What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
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