Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
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