tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
two words...techno handjob
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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