not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
