"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
