Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize