good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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