This girl is more easily done than said...
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
