it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
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