I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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