anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
