just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Oh god it's open bar.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
