This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
