it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
