no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
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