just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
