Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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