She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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