It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Randomize