we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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