this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize