he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
