I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
