drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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