Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
