I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
That accounts for only three of the penises
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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