As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
