do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
