You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
