i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
