what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
