I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think im in europe. pls send help
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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