one might say we're banned from that church
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
