I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
