And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
