i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
