Are we in a gay sports bar?
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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