somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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