you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Randomize
