Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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