And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
