lets start a swedish sibling band together
she told me i tasted like america
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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