I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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